


Not Broken

by CleverUsernameHere



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Dean Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Infertility, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:27:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24028120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CleverUsernameHere/pseuds/CleverUsernameHere
Summary: Omega!Sam falls into a depression when he learns he will never be able to bear his alpha’s child. Dean wants nothing more than to help his mate, but Sam feels too broken to let Dean in.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester
Comments: 11
Kudos: 117
Collections: SPN ABO Bingo Round 5





	Not Broken

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I’ve ever written mpreg as a subject and it was new for me, but it wasn’t as uncomfortable as I thought it would be to write (mainly since no men are actually pregnant)
> 
> This fills my ‘mpreg’ square on my Spn ABO bingo and my ‘angst’ square for DeanSam bingo

Sam had experienced so much pain in his life, but nothing compared to the moment he found out he couldn’t have a pup.

Suddenly everything seemed meaningless. He had fought so hard for so long to create a safe world where he and Dean could finally have the life they always dreamt of. Now Sam couldn’t have the one thing he had wanted since the moment his brother claimed him.

He could never have a child.

Sam couldn’t remember the last time he cried so much, but now it was as if he couldn’t stop. Even when the tears ran out, choked sobs still fell from his lips as he clutched his belly.

Dean tried to keep strong for the both of them, but Sam could see the devastating news hurt him too. Sam hated that they couldn’t have a family. He hated himself even more because it was his fault.

The doctors had said it in much kinder words, but what it boiled down to was that Sam was unable to carry Dean’s pup. Years of abuse to his body had damaged him more than Sam had realized. Every time he thought he had healed, a little part of him had broken beyond repair. Now it couldn’t be fixed, it was far too late.

His body had betrayed him and now Sam didn’t care enough to make his health a priority. It didn’t matter. He felt numb.

Sam spent over a week in bed, only leaving to use the bathroom. The only time he ate or drank was when Dean brought him things and he was too woozy to turn them down.

Sam couldn’t even take comfort in his alpha’s presence anymore. Every time he met his mate’s eyes he could see the deep sadness in them. Sam had failed Dean before, but this… this was uncomparable.

Sam wouldn’t even let Dean touch him, it hurt too much, knowing he couldn’t give his brother more. Whenever Dean slept beside him at night, Sam moved through the edge of the bed, not wanting the constant reminder. It got to the point where Sam wouldn’t even respond when Dean spoke to him. Eventually Dean gave up and Sam knew it would only be a matter of time before his mate gave up on him entirely.

Maybe that’s what Sam was subconsciously aiming for, pushing Dean so far that he would realize there were better options. Sam knew his brother was still able to have pups, even if Sam wasn’t able to carry. It broke his heart, the thought of his alpha finding someone else, but he wasn’t going to hold Dean back if it was what he truly wanted.

Sam kept to the far side of their bed when Dean came in late that night. Dean crawled into bed beside him, scooting closer as Sam moved away. Dean left the omega with nowhere to go before he rested a hand over Sam’s back.

When he couldn’t knock Dean’s hand away with his shoulder, Sam pushed himself to sit up.

“Omega, please.” Dean’s voice was pleading and full of worry. Sam hated that Dean felt that way because of him. His alpha deserved better.

“You should find an omega who can give you a family.” Sam finally spoke his thoughts after days of keeping them in. His voice was hoarse from being unused and riddled with sadness.

“How can you say that?” Dean asked in disbelief, moving to sit beside Sam on the edge of the bed.

After days of forcing everything down, Sam couldn’t bottle it all up anymore. “I will never be able to give you a pup, Dean. Don’t you understand that?” Sam turned his head until his tear filled eyes met Dean’s tired ones. Sam didn’t give Dean a chance to speak before he was standing from the bed. “I’m broken.”

“Damnit, Sam, you’re not broken!” Dean said as he shot up from the bed, standing firmly in front of the omega, not allowing him to pass.

“I can’t give you a pup!” Sam cried, shoving at Dean’s chest, trying to get past. He hadn’t prepared himself for this and Sam was barely keeping it together.

Dean wasn’t about to let him run and hide as if that would make his problems disappear. When Sam pushed at him again, Dean locked his arms around his brother and pulled him into a hug. Sam went with little fight, allowing Dean to hold him tight against his chest.

For days Dean had wanted to get through to Sam, but tiptoeing around the subject had proved ineffective. “You’re all I need.” The alpha promised, running a soothing hand over Sam’s back. “You’re not damaged or broken or whatever else. You’re my omega and my mate and you’re perfect.” Dean pulled back just enough to look into his brother’s teary eyes. “I know it hurts, but you can’t keep shutting me out.”

Sam finally broke down, sniffling as tears of hurt finally dripped down his cheeks. Dean used his thumb to wipe away the droplets, whispering to his omega that it was okay as he guided Sam to sit back down.

“I’m sorry for pushing you away. I just...” Sam croaked out, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “I felt- I feel like… like I’ve let you down.” Sam couldn’t meet Dean’s eyes this time, instead he hung his head in shame. “It’s my fault.”

“It’s not your fault, Sam.” Dean tried to assure, but his little brother shook his head dismissively. “You have to know that it’s not.”

“I’m the only one left to blame.” Sam said in merely a whisper. Dean took in his omega’s sadness and it broke his heart that he couldn’t do more. Dean wrapped an arm around Sam, allowing his younger brother to rest his head in his shoulder. “It just hurts so much.” Sam muttered as he pressed himself closer to Dean’s comforting hold, wishing he had allowed himself to accept his mate’s support before.

“I know, Sammy.” Dean sighed softly, blinking back tears of his own. “I hate seeing you so sad and I wish there was more I could do. It breaks my heart, knowing that you’re hurting.”

“I’m sorry.” Sam whispered, unable to think of anything more to say.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Sam. This isn’t your fault, it just… it’s how things are.” Dean turned his head until he was able to press a soft kiss to Sam’s head. It was a small comfort, but Sam relished in it. “You need to let me in, though. You can’t keep going like this.”

“I know.” Sam sniffled and nodded, lifting his head to meet Dean’s eyes.

“You’re not broken, Sam.” Dean promised.

“You mean that?” Sam asked meekly and Dean reached for Sam’s hand.

“Of course I do.” Dean said as he intertwined their fingers. “And we will get through this.” Dean offered a small smile of assurance to his mate as he held his hand tight. “We’ll get through this together.”

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve never written mpreg or anything like this before, so feedback would be incredible <3


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